Sarah Alexander
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"Since her twin brother, Eddie, drowned five years ago, sixteen-year-old Elsie Main has tried to remember what really happened that fateful day on the beach. When cute, mysterious Tay introduces Elsie to the world of freediving, she vows to find the answers she seeks at the bottom of the sea." --
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Since the dawn of time, men and women have been falling in love - and men have been trying to get straight home afterwards. Can fallen playboy Patrick Maitland ever find his way home from the Enchanted Glade of his one true love and get a decent night's kip? Kate Isitt as Sally makes her singing debut.
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Late at night and a phone call that Will Not Die. You know how sometimes you can't get someone off the phone? There are too many people in this phone call. And one of them isn't really there. Meanwhile, Susan is worried she's turning into an emotional tent; she and Steve are now well and truly an item – so why is he dreaming about being executed by a method Never Before Seen on British Television - and chased by a foetus with an axe?
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One bar, three different points of view, the same nine and a half minutes. Susan and Steve are now pregnant (well, mostly Susan); Patrick and Sally are discussing commitment (well, mostly Sally) and there's this guy called Oliver who has a blind date with Jane. But is his job going to be a problem? Meanwhile, in the skies above an Aegean island, terrible danger grows. Featuring hot girl on girl action with Gina Bellman and Sarah Alexander.
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Jeff is about to have a job interview — and he's pretty nervous. Jane appears on Steve's doorstep and is clearly very, very upset. Her aunt has just died and she wants Steve to go to the funeral with her. Meanwhile, Susan is busy inviting Patrick to the funeral while he is inviting Sally, who has a pathological fear of growing old, to be his decoy date. Before long, all six of them are heading up a suburban street dressed in funereal black...
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Jane's attention has been caught by Bill, a stunningly handsome guy in the bar. Lust at first sight, contact is established. Although Jane has been a bit horrible to his friends, Bill suggests she join him for dinner the following evening at his place. Meanwhile Patrick needs a pretend wife just for one evening. He and a colleague Ivan are fiercely competitive; Ivan recently got married, so naturally Patrick has invented a whole marriage. Amazingly,...
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Steve has lost his apartment keys and goes to Susan's to find them. But instead he finds Sally stepping out of the shower... How can he ever tell Susan that he's seen her best friend's bottom? "You have seen into the heart of the forbidden lands," Jeff tells him, "You must never speak of what you saw!" Steve must also steer clear of Captain Subtext, who will collude with the Prickles, the Blurts and the Head Laugh to tell Susan everything. All this...
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Three eggs, three women, three possibilities. Now Sally's blurted out how she feels to Patrick and has convinced herself it's not meant to be. More importantly, she really, really doesn't want to produce a bald, noisy thing that will destroy her life - and decides to use Jane and Susan as a pregnancy control test, which leads to some unexpected revelations.
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In the salon Sally is slumped in front of the mirror examining her expanding face with Susan, when Jane stumbles in dramatically and tells them she's been totally and utterly sacked from her job as a flying eye with the local radio station. As the girls hit the vodka bottle, and discuss other career options for Jane, she shyly admits she has a plan. Meanwhile a grim looking Patrick strides into the bar. He has decided to terminate his latest girlfriend...
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Sally is having a drink with a complete oaf called Brian. She spots Patrick with a bunch of business cronies and begs him to rescue her, which he does in true tripod style. Soon they are drinking to Code Red and wondering whether they should have got indelicate together. The next day, Sally decides they should do it - now, a one-time-only offer. He's got the builders in, her flatmate's at home with 'flu; but she has the key to Susan's flat and arranges...
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Steve seems incapable of making any decisions, and Susan is beginning to despair. When her new French client starts picking holes in her work over the phone, she tears her off a strip - in fluent French. Richard, a pleasant looking guy of the same age, grins oafishly at her - he really likes French women. "But I bet you've got a boyfriend", he says. Susan hesitates. "Oui" she replies. A guilty Steve finds himself exchanging phone numbers with an attractive...
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Jane turns up on Patrick's doorstep. Meanwhile the boys discuss screen nudity. When Jane opens Patrick's cupboard and is confronted by a wall of videos, she grabs him and slams him against the wall. It seems Patrick has filmed all the women he's ever had sex with — including Susan. News spreads about the videos. But just who has the naked rights to Susan now that she's going out with Steve? Slightly anxious, Susan decides to confront Patrick, only...
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Steve and his best friend, Jeff, head for the wine bar where Steve has decided he is going to dump his longstanding girlfriend once and for all. Meanwhile Susan and her best friend, Sally, are heading towards the same destination with equal determination. Is this the evening when 'he' is going to propose? But all is not as it seems.
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Jane finds herself competing with the Supreme Being of the Universe. She feels it isn't fair on either of them. Jeff has been going out with Julia for some time. But then the disconcertingly lovely Wilma propositions him in the stationery cupboard. Meanwhile Jane meets and quickly unnerves the ruggedly handsome James under similar circumstances.
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Patrick is sporting a new — and very gay — haircut. Steve is appalled to find that Susan is recording something on the VCR. In an advanced state of shock and horror, he remains uncertain as to whether she's spotted his porno tape — Lesbian Spank Inferno. Jane is astonished to hear that Steve told Susan he loved her, something he failed to say to her throughout the five years of their relationship...